Remembering

June 7th marked one year since my stepmom, Leora passed away. I have wanted to write something to acknowledge the date, but words escape me. I have been anticipating June 6th and I think getting there was harder than the actual day.

I find myself remembering big events in my life by thinking how much time has passed since that event occurred. I spent a lot of the past year thinking;
"Last year at this time was Leora's last Christmas and we didn't know it."
"Last year was her last birthday."
"Last year she got to see the flowers in her yard bloom."
"One year ago on this date she got really sick."
"Last year on this date was the last time I saw her."

Now a year has passed and I don't get to say that anymore.

Here are some of my reflections on the last year and some things I have learned.

A year goes by fast, but yet I can remember every moment of June 6th.
You never fully realize what someone meant to you until they are gone.
Sometimes you don't know what you meant to someone until they are gone.
Time eases.
Some days are hard for no particular reason.
The most random memory can bring tears.
I can laugh remembering some crazy things she did and some things she said.
Say what you need to say before it's too late.
Good things can come from hard circumstances.
I wish I would have given more of time.

My dad has had a hard year, but I think just reaching this date is a milestone for him. Leora was the glue that held our relationship together. However, within this last year we have developed a relationship and it is the closest we have ever been. I am thankful for that.

The song playing on the playlist was my song choice for her funeral. I can hardly listen to it, but I love it.