Leora

Aaron and I were home from our cruise for just a week when we found out my Dad's girlfriend, Leora, was going to Southwest Medical Center, here in Vancouver, for an emergency hysterectomy. That was very alarming. Leora had been having health issues beginning last year, but we had no idea what was in store. The hysterectomy revealed a very advanced cancer in her body. She was in the hospital a few days and then sent home to recover before any other treatment was outlined. She was home about 5 days when my dad rushed her back down to Southwest with a high fever and in severe pain. The pain was originally thought to be pain related to recovery from her surgery, but in fact, doctors did an emergency surgery for a ruptured bowel. Her lower intestine was hardened from cancer and had fused to her uterus. The rupture was life threatening, especially because her body was already compromised from a recent surgery and an advanced cancer. She was most likely not going to survive a surgery, but she did. Leora spent 5 days in ICU. My brother, my dad and I along with many friends and co-workers and Leora's family were at the hospital around the clock. Her stay in ICU was a sign of just how serious her diagnosis was.

There were many, many complications and set backs, too many to write out and one right after the other. Leora's doctors were always amazed at her fighting spirit. She kept pulling through, despite the continued setbacks and prognosis. It was quite unbelievable all that she endured. From Southwest, Leora was moved back to Longview, but to stay in a nursing home, which she greatly disliked. She wanted to go home so badly. I think she just wanted to go back home and for everything to be back to normal.

Through this whole ordeal, my dad remained by her side, almost non-stop. There were many difficulties for him that I can't even imagine. Watching your loved one suffer and deteriorate would be horrible. Her family became very hostile. On top of it all, Leora did EVERYTHING for my dad. She really took care of him, and he did not know the day to day details of their finances. Aaron and I had to take over finances while he stayed by her side. They were together 18 years, but not married, so thinking ahead was necessary, but so difficult.

My dad and Leora decided to move her home and he would do in-home hospice care for her. It was a daunting task. Leora's family had turned quite sour through out all this. My dad did the hospice care all alone, but he served her faithfully. I am so incredibly proud of him, as he nursed Leora at home by himself for 24 days. She had tremendous medical needs, but he lovingly nursed and served her, mostly without any help and around the clock. Even the hospice nurse was surprised at well he did taking care of Leora! He was holding her hand, hand on her heart, cheek to cheek as she took her last breath.

June 7th, Leora, my dad's long-time girlfriend and companion, passed away. Although it was only seven weeks and 3 days since her diagnosis of terminal cancer, it was a long, emotional road. I have seen the absolute best in people as well as the worst that illness and impending death can bring out in people.

Although there is some relief Leora's battle is over and she is no longer in pain, I am nervous for the road ahead. Leora's family has been hostile (to say the least) toward my dad during this ordeal. I fear what that tension could do to my dad.

I am so grateful for the time that I got to spend with Leora, in the hospital, at the nursing home, and finally at their home with my dad. We had good conversations and were able to say things that most people put off saying. Because of this situation, I got to have so much contact and get to know many her co-workers that loved Leora and saw the best in her. It was a part of her life she kept close to her heart. I am most thankful for the time I have spent with my brother, Ryan. I know the Lord allows good things to come out of bad situations. One of the best things for me is how close this has brought my dad and I. It has really been a blessing. Leora prompted most of the communication I had with my dad. She really loved the "grandbabies" and I know she had conversations with my dad about how important a relationship with his grandkids is.

I am overwhemed by thought of preparing my dad financially for his life alone, as Leora had total control and knowledge of their finances. He is self-employed and his work is seasonal. This is a man who doesn't like to use a debit card. Because they were not married, figuring out the finances is diffcult, to say the least. Because of the difficulties with her family, we decided my dad should hire a lawyer to help sort out things correctly. It has been hard for him to grieve and deal with issues that no one wants to deal with when they lose someone they love.

I feel so sad for him to face life alone. Leora was his best friend, a perfect companion. They had a relationship of basic understanding of two people who were not easily understood by many others, but they certainly understood each other. They needed each other and it worked for them.

It is amazing how grief comes and goes; how little memories surface or small reminders come your way; a saying, a picture, a song. Leora represents a lot in my life. Things I had not thought about in a long time. She came into my life at a time of great transition. She did not push, but gave me respect and treated me like a young lady. She did so much for my brother and my dad. She was a behind-the-scenes sort of person and did not like the spot light, although she was a very hard worker and a lot of people respected her. Her greatest thrill in life was having "grandbabies". I am honored to be a part of that.

Here are some pictures of Leora enjoying Ellie and Easton.